Belonging and community are topics you’ll see me writing about often because those factors matter more than ever for people who have been marginalized and traumatized. Chances are, if you’re here, you’ve been challenged by others because of your lifestyle choices and sexual identity. Yet, we all look for a level of spiritual belonging somewhere.

For generations, authoritarian societies have tied spirituality to rigid rules and forced structures. Chances are, you were raised to find connection within traditional religious institutions or dogmatic groups. However, true spiritual belonging looks very different today. For sexually liberated communities such as the Church of Steelle, we must redefine this concept entirely. True spiritual belonging is not an external religion. It is not a strict belief system dictated by others. Instead, it is a profound connection with your own internal beliefs built upon your emotional and spiritual needs. When we shift this focus inward, we create spaces where everyone can thrive.

Finding Belonging Within Yourself

Conformity was a large part of parenting for hundreds of years. We learned to follow the rules, suppress our desires, and seek approval from outside authorities. Consequently, we disconnected from our authentic selves. Deconstructing that entire mindset requires putting your needs above those of any external structure. This isn’t easy, and we often encounter challenges and questions. However, the result is worth all the work.

Belonging starts with accepting your own internal emotional landscape. Listen to your deepest desires and validate your own feelings. As that happens, you do not need an external doctrine to tell you who you are. Your internal connection serves as your guide. When you trust your own emotional compass, you establish a firm foundation for true spiritual belonging. This inner peace radiates outward. Ultimately, it allows you to connect with others genuinely and without pretense.

Releasing Shame to Foster True Belonging

To build a liberated community, we must dismantle the barriers that keep us apart. The biggest barrier is often shame. Society frequently attaches deep shame to various sexual activities and practices. This toxic emotion forces people into hiding. Think of all the dark nightclubs, often in unsavory parts of town. We seek out these places because we fear the shame of someone from our “vanilla” life seeing us. Furthermore, it destroys any sense of genuine community.

Eliminating shame is essential for authentic spiritual belonging. We must actively reject the outdated narratives that tell us our desires are wrong or dirty. Chances are, you’ve already been doing this regarding your own desires. Now, we need to extend that accepting narrative to others. We need to celebrate everyone’s sexuality as a natural, beautiful expression of human life. When we release shame, we open our hearts. We allow ourselves to be fully vulnerable. As a result, we create an environment where true spiritual belonging can flourish. Everyone deserves to feel safe and accepted in their preferred sexual expression.

Cultivating Belonging Through Mutual Respect

I have never understood those who demand respect for their identity, but deny that same respect or want to control the definition of someone else’s identity. A sexually liberated community is incredibly diverse by its very nature. We encompass a wide spectrum of identities, orientations, and practices. Therefore, mutual respect forms the absolute cornerstone of our shared spiritual belonging. We must actively support those with differing sexual identities. Think of it this way: no matter where you see yourself in the LGBTQIA+ acronym, belonging means respecting the whole alphabet.

We inevitably encounter people whose practices and beliefs differ wildly from our own, some of which we may not understand.  However, you do not need to adopt their beliefs to validate their existence. Understanding others’ sexual beliefs requires empathy, not agreement. You can easily hold space for someone else’s truth while remaining firmly rooted in your own values. This genuinely isn’t difficult. True spiritual belonging thrives on this mutual respect. Respect allows us to honor our differences rather than fear them. By actively celebrating our diversity, we strengthen the fabric of our entire community. This is part of why PRIDE events are best when they’re wide open even to those who are simply curious.

Holding the Door Open

Ultimately, spiritual belonging is an ongoing, active practice. The Church of Steelle is not an exclusive club with a velvet rope. Instead, belonging to a sexually liberated community involves holding the door open. We must “roll out the carpet” to the incredibly long list of sexual identities and practices that exist in our world. I’ve tried creating a comprehensive list, and it’s never complete. We have to be open to accepting identities and practices we’ve never heard of.

When someone new approaches our community, they should find a welcoming embrace. They should immediately feel a profound sense of spiritual belonging. We achieve this specific goal by listening without judgment and loving without conditions. Every time we validate a different sexual identity, we expand our collective consciousness. We prove that spiritual belonging is completely boundless.

We are charting a bold new path forward. The Church of Steelle leaves behind the restrictive dogmas of the past. All that nasty judgment and shame you grew up with? Yeah, you can kiss that goodbye. By connecting deeply with our internal emotions, we discover true spiritual belonging. We eliminate shame, practice mutual respect, and keep the door perpetually open. In doing so, we build sexually liberated communities where everyone can finally, truly belong.

Maybe you should join us.