Sexual identification is extremely important. More than just a label, sexual identity is personal. Older generations confirmed who they are around the age of 18. However, studies and polls show younger generations making that decision much sooner, anywhere between 12 and 14 years old. Complicating matters, especially for family and friends, is the fact that a person’s sexual identity is fluid. For example, that niece who announced last year that she is lesbian may clarify that identity now by telling you that they’re ceterosexual.

Yes, it’s okay to Google what that means. Better yet, just ask your niece. While there are textbook and clinical definitions for many identities, different people have individual nuances that add to or differ from the standard definition. 

Few people object to explaining their orientation. People want to be understood as much as they want to be seen. For the past few years, one of my first questions when meeting someone new, right after learning their name, is “How do you identify?” The inquiry may catch some people by surprise because it’s such a rare part of the standard social discussion. However, no one has refused to answer the question. Instead, it leads to fascinating conversations.

What Does It Mean to Identify?

Sexual identification is how you understand and label yourself (such as heterosexual, gay, bisexual, or asexual). It is distinct from whom you have sex with or your biological sex. This is not the same as gender, which is a separate topic, though gender may influence one’s identity. It’s also important to understand that who your sexual or romantic partner is at a given moment doesn’t define this part of who you are. Sexuality can be fluid. It can change in different circumstances or over time. 

What matters most is that when someone tells you how they identify, you have an obligation to respect their stated identity. That still applies even if their identity seems to change every other month. Young adults, especially, often go through periods of experimentation and trial in an attempt to find what “fits” best for them. From an external perspective, that search might seem confusing. Rest assured, the person doing the experimenting is the only one who truly knows what feels best.

How Is A Sexual Identification Defined?

Are you trying to start an argument? Some medical sources list 29 sexual identities. Online, it’s not difficult to find websites listing over 40 different terms. What’s important is the sexual identification chosen by the individual.

Why are there so many identities? Primarily, the lists that contain more than the 29 clinical identities include combinations of various identities, such as “libidoist,” used to describe an asexual person who experiences sexual feelings that are satisfied through self-stimulation or masturbation. By contrast, a “nonlibidoist asexual” person is someone who doesn’t experience any sexual feelings or have an active sex drive. 

We realize that each sexual identification is important and deserves our respect. Though it may present a challenge to remember the identities of everyone you know, not deliberately misidentifying someone is one of the strongest forms of support and allyship we can offer.

To that end, here’s a list of the clinically recognized sexual identities and their general definitions.

Monosexual & Gender-Specific Attractions

Identity Term	Definition
Heterosexual (Straight)	Sexual attraction to people of a gender different from one’s own.
Homosexual	Clinical term for sexual attraction to people of the same sex or gender.
Gay	Attraction to people of the same gender; most commonly used by men attracted to men, but can be an umbrella term.
Lesbian	A woman or non-binary person who is attracted exclusively to women or feminine-aligned people.
Androsexual	Attraction to masculinity or masculine gender presentations, regardless of the person’s assigned sex or gender identity.
Gynesexual / Gynosexual	Attraction to femininity or feminine gender presentations, regardless of the person’s assigned sex or gender identity.
Ceterosexual	Attraction exclusively or primarily to non-binary, genderqueer, or gender-expansive individuals.

Multisexual / Non-Monosexual Attractions

Identity Term	Definition
Bisexual	Attraction to two or more genders; can mean attraction to both one’s own gender and other genders.
Pansexual	Attraction to people regardless of their gender identity or biological sex (“gender-blind” attraction).
Omnisexual	Attraction to all genders, where gender identity remains a conscious factor or preference in the attraction.
Polysexual	Attraction to multiple, but not necessarily all, genders.
Spectrasexual	Attraction to a specific spectrum of multiple, distinct gender identities.

Asexual (Ace) Spectrum Identities

Identity Term	Definition
Asexual (Ace)	Little to no innate sexual attraction toward any gender, though emotional/romantic attraction may still occur.
Allosexual	A term describing anyone who regularly experiences sexual attraction (i.e., someone who is not on the asexual spectrum).
Graysexual / Gray-A	Experiencing sexual attraction only rarely, very mildly, or under highly specific circumstances.
Demisexual	Experiencing sexual attraction only after creating a strong, foundational emotional connection with a person.
Cupiosexual	A person who does not experience sexual attraction but still desires to have a sexual relationship or engage in sexual acts.
Aego-sexual	A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target; enjoying sexual concepts or erotica, but without the desire to personally participate.
Reciprosexual	Experiencing sexual attraction to someone only after realizing that the other person is sexually attracted to them first.

Fluid & Context-Based Identities

Identity Term	Definition
Abrosexual	Possessing a fluid sexual identity that changes or fluctuates over time.
Sapiosexual	Primary sexual attraction based on an individual’s intelligence rather than gender or physical traits.
Autosexual	Achieving primary sexual arousal and fulfillment through oneself rather than external partners.
Heteroflexible	Identifying as mostly heterosexual, but remaining open to occasional same-gender attractions or interactions.
Homoflexible	Identifying as mostly homosexual, but remaining open to occasional different-gender attractions or interactions.
Queer	An umbrella term for anyone whose sexual orientation falls outside societal heterosexual norms.
Questioning	The temporary state of exploring or being unsure of one’s sexual identity or labels.
Pomosexual	Choosing to intentionally bypass, reject, or live completely free of any sexual labels or orientations.

Beyond Sexual Identification

Yes, there is a potential for a LOT more. I rather doubt that one could ever assemble a truly comprehensive list. Identities differ, also, according to the language. Don’t assume that the term you know in English easily translates to other languages, especially those that don’t have Latin roots.

What other sexual identities would you add? Please let me know in the comments or use the contact form if you want to keep it private. We all should be anxious to learn!